Cremation Memorials: More Choices for Today’s Families

Jeff Nelson
7 days ago
6 min read

Stories Etched in Stone – Article 6

Giving Today’s Families Options Beyond Traditional Burial

Discovering new possibilities for honoring life’s memories.

Welcome

For generations, burial was the most familiar choice for many families. Loved ones were often laid to rest in a nearby cemetery, and the traditional headstone became the lasting place where family and friends gathered to remember.

Today, that picture is changing. According to the National Funeral Directors Association’s 2025 Cremation & Burial Report, the cremation rate in the United States was projected to reach 63.4%, compared with a burial rate of 31.6%. Cremation has become more than twice as common as burial.

This significant shift has changed not only the decisions families make, but also the memorial profession itself. Families choosing cremation memorials often have questions that were less common when burial was the expected choice:

Can a memorial still be placed in a cemetery?
Can cremains be shared among family members?
Can we create a memorial at home or in a garden?
Can an urn tell more of a person’s story than names and dates?
Does a memorial need to contain cremains at all?

The good news is that cremation does not take meaningful memorial choices away from families. In many cases, it gives them possibilities they may never have considered.

More Freedom in Where—and When—We Remember

Traditional gravestones are almost always located at the burial site, requiring family members and friends to visit the cemetery where the grave is located.

Cremation gives families more flexibility. The cremains and the memorial do not necessarily have to remain together or be placed in only one location. Urns containing cremains may be displayed indoors on a shelf or cabinet, placed outdoors beneath a special tree, or incorporated into a memorial garden.

In a more traditional fashion, cremains can still be placed or buried in a cemetery. Where cemetery rules permit, families may also add an approved marker, monument, plaque, or bench within or near the family plot.

Families also do not have to make every permanent decision immediately. Cremains are often returned in a simple temporary or basic container. That container can be replaced with a more suitable and permanent urn later—even months or years afterward. This flexibility gives families time to talk, consider the possibilities, and choose a more permanent memorial when they feel ready.

One Family’s Story

When Mrs. Randall died, she left three adult children living in different parts of the country – one near her home in Michigan, one in Boston, and one in Dallas. At first, they believed they had to choose one place for their mother’s cremains and one memorial for the entire family. But the daughter in Michigan wanted to have some of their mother’s cremains placed in an outdoor urn at the cemetery beside their father, while the sons each wanted something close to them for remembrance of their mother.

After investigating options, an urn appropriate for the cemetery was selected for the family cemetery plot near their father, and each of the sons received a smaller matching urn etched with their mother’s portrait and a favorite prayer of hers.

Where Can a Cremation Memorial Be Placed?

A memorial in the home may be as simple as an urn displayed on a shelf. A remembrance area may also include a plaque, keepsakes, flowers, military honors, favorite books, or objects connected to the person’s life.

Outdoors, a memorial may be placed beneath a tree, beside a garden path, near a bench, or among flowers chosen in memory of someone special. Garden monuments, plaques, markers, etched stones, outdoor urns, and memorial benches can all help create a place where people may pause and remember.

The memorial does not have to be large or elaborate. What matters is whether it reflects the person and brings comfort to those who visit it.

Note that before placing a memorial in a cemetery, park, churchyard, or other property the family does not own, permission should always be obtained. Rules may cover materials, dimensions, installation, maintenance, and long-term placement.

Can Cremation Memorials Be Incorporated Into Traditional Family Cemetery Plots?

Yes. Choosing cremation does not necessarily mean giving up a traditional cemetery memorial. Many families still want their loved one to be remembered in the family cemetery plot beside a spouse, parent, or other relative.

Some families bury the cremains and place a traditional marker above them. Others choose a memorial that serves as both an urn and an outdoor monument.

Every cemetery has its own rules. Before ordering anything, families should ask:

Whether cremains may be placed in an existing family plot
How many cremation burials are permitted in one plot
What types of urns or containers are allowed
What marker or monument requirements apply
Whether a foundation is required
Whether an existing headstone may be updated

A memorial professional should also be willing to speak with the cemetery when additional details or measurements are needed.

Can Cremains Be Shared Among Family Members?

Yes. As families become more geographically spread out, sharing cremains has become an important and highly personal option.

Smaller urns—often called sharing urns, family urns, or keepsake urns—allow portions of the cremains to be divided among several relatives. The urns may be designed identically so each family member receives a matching memorial, or they can be personalized individually.

There is no single arrangement that is right for every family. Some families place most of the cremains in one central urn and divide a smaller portion among relatives. Others divide them more evenly.

The amount does not need to be large to be meaningful. Some people choose very small keepsake or jewelry urns that hold only a tiny portion of cremains and can be worn on a necklace or bracelet.

Just as sharing love does not diminish the amount of love for any one individual, sharing cremains does not divide the memory of the person being remembered.

Can an Urn Be Used to Tell a Life Story?

An urn or memorial can display much more than a name and dates. Custom urns and memorials may include photographs, poems, favorite phrases, meaningful artwork, landscapes, hobbies, military emblems, religious symbols, pets, occupations, or places that were important to the person.

Multi-sided urns offer even more room to preserve a story. One side may feature a portrait. Another may show the person with family. Additional sides may include important life moments, favorite places, hobbies, pets, or words that reflect how the person lived. Used thoughtfully, a multi-sided urn can become a life story told in pictures.

Can an Empty Urn Be Used as a Memorial?

Yes. A memorial urn does not have to contain cremains. Some families scatter the cremains, bury them elsewhere, divide them among relatives, or keep them in another location. They may still want a permanent memorial in a garden or another meaningful place. An urn-shaped memorial may be left empty and used simply as a monument.

One family recently used the interior cavity of a granite garden urn to hold small objects that connected them to the person they loved. Letters, photographs, jewelry, military items, handwritten memories, and other keepsakes became part of the memorial.

Garden monuments, plaques, markers, etched stones, and memorial benches can all honor someone without containing cremains. What gives a memorial meaning is not what it contains, but the life and memories it represents. Its purpose is to honor a life, preserve a connection, and give memory a lasting place.

Questions Families Often Ask

Should we contact the cemetery before choosing a cremation memorial?

Yes. Cremains may often be buried in a family plot, placed beneath a marker, or incorporated into an approved cemetery memorial. Because rules vary, families should speak with the cemetery before proceeding.

Can cremains be divided if they have already been placed in one urn?

Yes. Smaller "sharing" or "family" urns allow relatives to keep portions of the cremains in different homes. The urns may match or be personalized individually.

Is it too late to replace the original cremation container with a permanent urn?

No. A simple temporary container can be replaced with a permanent urn later, even months or years after the cremation. Families can take the time they need to choose something that feels meaningful and appropriate.

A Note From Jeff

The growth of cremation has given families more choices than ever before. A traditional burial usually creates one central place of remembrance. Cremation allows families to create several connected places of remembrance—at a cemetery, in a garden, or in the homes of family members living far apart.

There is no single arrangement that is right for everyone. What matters is finding a way to honor the person and bring comfort to the people who loved them.

More Ways to Carry Memory Forward

Traditional burials continue to provide comfort and connection for many families. Cremation does not replace that tradition or make permanent remembrance less important. It simply gives families more freedom to decide where memory will live, how it will be shared, and when a permanent memorial will be chosen.

Just as every family is different, every family’s way of remembering and honoring a loved one can be unique and personal. A memorial may rest in a family cemetery plot, remain close to someone at home, stand beneath a tree, mark a garden, or offer a quiet place to sit. It may contain cremains, preserve keepsakes, tell a life story in pictures, or hold nothing except loving memories. It may remain in one place or connect relatives living many miles apart.

There is no single form that remembrance must take. What matters is that the memorial honors the life and preserves the memories the family treasures.