Before You Choose a Headstone
- Jeff Nelson
- Jul 27
- 5 min read
Stories Etched in Stone – Article 5
Traditional options with new possibilities.
"Every life is unique. We believe every memorial should be, too."
Welcome
Selecting a headstone or grave marker is a new experience for many families. If this is you, understanding some basic types and terms is a good place to start.
Before You Choose a Headstone, here are some common terms you may hear.
Flat Markers
A flat marker sits level with the ground or very close to ground level. These are common in memorial parks and cemetery sections that require a uniform appearance.
Flat markers are usually simple in shape, but they can still be meaningful. Names, dates, short phrases, symbols, artwork, and photo etching may help personalize the design when cemetery rules allow.
Bevel Markers
A bevel marker is slightly raised above the ground. The face is gently angled, making the inscription easier to read than a completely flat marker.
A bevel marker can be a good option when families want a little more presence while still keeping a low profile.
Slant Memorials
A slant memorial has an angled front face. It is taller than a flat or bevel marker but usually smaller than a full upright headstone.
The angled surface makes the inscription easy to see and may provide more room for wording, artwork, family names, or other design elements.
Upright Headstones
An upright headstone is the traditional memorial many people picture first. It usually includes a vertical stone set on a base.
Upright memorials often provide more room for names, dates, family names, meaningful phrases, religious symbols, military emblems, artwork, or photo etching.
Because upright headstones are larger and more visible, cemeteries often have specific rules about size, foundation, material, and installation.
Companion Memorials
A companion memorial is designed to honor two people, often spouses or partners.
They may be flat, bevel, slant, or upright depending on cemetery rules.
A good design can honor each person individually while also recognizing the life they shared.
Cremation Cemetery Memorials
Choosing cremation does not mean giving up the option of a cemetery memorial.
Many cemeteries offer cremation burial spaces, cremation markers, urn burials, columbarium niches, or small memorials designed for cremated remains.
Rules vary widely, so families should ask the cemetery what cremation memorial options are permissible.
Traditional Does Not Have to Mean Generic
A traditional memorial style provides the basic form. Personal details give the memorial its voice. That may be a portrait, a favorite flower, a cross, a cardinal, a tractor, a musical note, a pet, a lake scene, a military emblem, or a line of handwriting from an old card.
The goal is not to fill the stone with decoration, but to choose details that feel true to the person that is being remembered.
Modern design tools and laser etching allow much more detailed designs, including photo etching, Families can personalize cemetery memorials in ways that may not have been practical or affordable in the past. That gives families more design freedom while still respecting traditional memorial forms and cemetery requirements.
Before falling in love with a memorial style, ask the cemetery for its written requirements.
Cemetery rules may cover memorial type, size, material, base requirements, installation, placement, and inscription or design limits.
A helpful memorial provider should be willing to review those rules with you before the design is finalized. This can prevent frustration, delays, or unexpected changes later.
Designed With Care
At Memorials Direct, we believe every memorial begins with a conversation about your questions, concerns, and wishes. From that point, we can work together to design and create the right memorial. We can help talk through memorial styles, cemetery requirements, wording, artwork, photo etching, and layout.
Before anything is etched, you will receive a proof of the design to review. That gives your family time to check spelling, dates, wording, and design before the memorial is made permanent.
The process requires a bit of time. That's OK. A memorial is too meaningful to rush.
One Family’s Story
The matriarch of a local family visited recently to arrange a memorial for her terminally ill husband. She had already secured a large plot in a local cemetery to serve as a family resting place, honoring the wishes of her husband and children. That was the easy part.
The challenge was choosing a memorial that would meet the immediate needs of her and her husband while still leaving room for her children to make their own choices in the future.
After looking at several options, she chose a cremation bevel for herself and her husband. A cremation bevel is shaped much like a traditional bevel headstone, but it includes an internal cavity designed to hold cremains. The cavity is covered with a polished granite lid that can be unsealed in the future when her ashes are added.
The traditional headstone appearance of the bevel allowed it to blend nicely with the surrounding gravestones and markers while still serving a very personal purpose.
To identify the family plot without limiting the children’s future memorial choices, she also selected a granite bench boldly etched with the family name, along with several large granite vases. These were placed strategically at the corners of the plot to help define it as the family’s space while leaving the individual memorial decisions open for the next generation.
Her choices honored the immediate wishes of her and her husband while preserving future options for their children. It was a thoughtful example of how a memorial can serve both the present and the future.
Questions Families Often Ask
What is the difference between a flat marker and a bevel marker?
A flat marker sits level with the ground or close to it. A bevel marker is slightly raised and has an angled face that is easier to read.
Do all cemeteries allow the same kind of headstone?
No. Rules vary by cemetery and sometimes by section within the cemetery. Some allow upright headstones, while others require flat markers. This is too important to guess. Ask for a copy of their rules and requirements.
Can a traditional cemetery memorial still be personal?
Yes. Traditional memorials can usually include meaningful wording, symbols, artwork, and often photo etching. Cemetery rules still matter, but many families have more design freedom than they first realize.
What if we don't know what kind of memorial we can afford?
That is normal. You should be able to tell the monument company what type of budget you have to work with. A good company should take your budget into account when advising you. Be sure that costs of shipping, etching, and setting the stone are included. Some memorial companies may be able to arrange financing if that better suits your situation.
Under all circumstances, try not to let emotion lead you into expenses your family cannot comfortably afford.
A Note From Jeff
Families often feel pressure to make memorial decisions quickly, especially when grief is fresh. My advice is simple: slow down when you can. Ask questions about anything you don't understand. Be sure you know the cemetery rules.
A memorial does not need to say everything. Remember the rule: sometimes less is more.
Closing Thought
Choosing a headstone or grave marker can feel unfamiliar at first. But families do not have to make that decision alone. Take your time to find the memorial that feels right for you and for the life it honors. Even with small and simple memorials, there is still room for love. There is still room for memory. There can still be room to tell a life story in stone.
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